Stupid-Dick

O.K., well this happened so long ago that I can't even remember what this guy did to piss my sister and I off, I guess it really doesn't take much to get us going.

This prank took some scouting. It required an item that is not readily available and none too fun to deal with once you find it. First, a trip to Wal-Mart to purchase a collar and a leash. Then we started scouting, driving up and down streets, roads, and highways for hours until we found what we were looking for. I'm sure you guessed by now that what we were looking for was roadkill, specifically....dog.

Well, when we finally found one, (making sure that it was not too mangled of course), it happened to be in the middle of a busy highway. So, here we go, park on the side of the road, get out the garbage bag, and get ready to brave the traffic. Just our luck, as we're standing there, contemplating who should do the scooping (yuck!), who should pull up behind us but the local sheriff. He happens to be a rather fat little man so in the time it takes him to get out of his car and walk to ours, we've figured out our story. He asks if we need any help, and with heart broken looks on our faces, we tell him that it is our dog Bimbo who has been run over and we would like to pick him up so we can take him home and bury him. Ya know, there are times when you just REALLY appreciate having the police around and this surprisingly turned out to be one of those times. We ended up having the dog scooped, bagged and lifted into the trunk of the car for us (I love being a girl).

Next step, find someone willing to put the collar and leash on the poor dog. (We had a few guy friends at the time who were crazier than we were and would do just about anything, so that was no problem.) And finally, at around 3:00 in the morning, we pay a visit to our mark. The prank here, tie the end of the leash around the axle or onto the bumper, whichever is easiest and most likely to not come loose. Then balance the dead dog on the axle or wherever you can so that it won't fall off until your "friend" has driven at least a block or two or hit a good speed bump.

The guy ends up looking like a real asshole driving down main street, dragging the carcass of man's best friend Fido, possibly even attracting the attention of a cop or serious animal lover, possibly getting charge with cruelty to animals. As for our guy, I can't say I know what happened to him, by that time we were home in bed.

Again I must warn all the stupid-dick.com readers that this and mostly every prank I post is very cruel, inhumane and should only be used IF you really want to make someone's life a living hell.

Now that that's out of the way The greatest and most cruel prank ever is to wait until the person who has wronged you goes into a port a potty sneak up behind the port a potty quietly and tip it over so that it lands flat on the door. This prank is perfect. Since they'll be inside they can't see who did it. Your victim will be swimming in human waste and the best part is that unless you pulled this prank on superman, it is virtually impossible for the victim to get out by his/herself and when they do get out I suggest you leave state. There is nothing in this world that a victim of this prank could do to get even.

I stress that IF YOU MUST do this, make sure that you stick around for a couple of minutes to make sure you didn't knock the poor guy/girl out when you tipped them over. not only for that reason but it's also quite entertaining to listen to them desperately struggle to get out and shout out various death threats and vulgar language to you. Obviously you'll hear screaming and yelling when they realize what they're swimming in and that's a good sign that they'll be safe but VERY unhappy.

Don't think you'll get the opportunity to do this? It's very easy. Just let some time go by so that they don't suspect anything and pretend to be their buddy the whole time. When an outdoor concert or fair comes to town THEY ALWAYS HAVE PORT A POTTIES. Most theme parks do too. All you have to do is make sure they drink alot of fluid that day and in due time mother nature is in on the prank!

That's all I got for now But I am currently in the process of making a revenge website with ALL my pranks listed on it and yes I will have a link to thestupid-dick.com. Untill then, if you need help with a revenge idea Email me with your situation and the level of cruelty for the prank you want so that I can help you out to the best of my ability.